Dear Gretchen,
I'm not sure how often you're on, but I'll do this anyway.
I miss you, a lot. I miss talking to you, and I miss being close friends with you as well.
I've been drifting away on a raft made of string cheese for ages lately, and I feel bad about it.
Remember High School? Some crazy Doodly-doo Bumblefuck Nonsense that was. But I miss it.
Anyway, I'm going to stop saying the word miss because it sounds weird to me now, however I hope you read this soon, and at the very least get slightly nostalgic!
Here's a picture of a moustache and monocle.